Do you remember one of your first crushes on a girl way back? Probably early in school or even before that? If this was a person you lost touch with for few years and then met again the chances are you were no longer that keen on her anymore. She might not be that fun, attractive, bright she was before. (Ok, she might be even more than before, but bear with me in this one).
I’ve had few such experiences in my life. Had a crush on particular girl, lost touch for few years, then we met again and it wasn’t the same at all. Back then I wasn’t thinking about that topic and the reasons. However recently the question “why” was knocking on my head.
Why is that certain women are no longer that attractive (in all aspects) to a person, but before there were … how they say it – “the sh*t”?
I’ll go on a little bit scientific point of view here
With the growth of a person (intellectually, physically, emotionally and even spiritually) his needs also change. Those needs do cover his choice of women. So when you gain wisdom and experience in life – it is very normal for you to change your preferences in women. You might need someone more mature emotionally, more self dependant, or more passionate. Even more physically attractive (biological preferences begin kicking in … you know – babies).
That said, someone you knew before might not match your new criteria anymore. And the opposite – someone who you knew but never was in your scope of interest now might catch your attention.
Most people change with time, so it’s normal their needs to change, thus relationships end and start.
Usually if two people live together they grow with similar pace. However of one begins to stay back at some level (for any reason), while the other goes up – it’s very possible that they will no longer be happy together. The one that doesn’t want to grow (or can’t) will draw the other one back. He might also even thing that the growing one is losing his mind. At this point a relationship usually ends being beneficial, starts being a chore (and usually ends).
This whole thing went to my mind by observing people that I know and that they always end up attracting the same type of people. It was curious case for me and then I remembered this saying:
“If what you’re doing isn’t getting you the results you want, it’s time to change what you’re doing”.
Or in that context – the current growth (on all levels) on that person is attracting (and is attracted to) specific type. Unless the person grows (or makes some kind of change in his behavior) it’s unlikely to change the outcome.
I know this is not the only factor of preferences and success of the relationships between people, however it takes rather big role (and make sense).
Do you have similar experiences?