Is Your Approach Honest and What’s the difference with the Fake?

Hello mate,
Today we’ll discuss the routines many pick-up artists use. You’ve probably heard of it, you may even use some in your game.

Let’s start from the description of this in the pick-up community.

What is this thing called routine?

It’s ready material, typically some sort of line, question and similar thing that when done right, conveys certain qualities in the person that makes it, starts a conversation in a desired way, gives specific hints to a woman and etc. Things of this kind.

One typical example of routine is the old question which a person can use to approach people – “Who lies more, men or women?”, with it’s sequence (almost no matter what they say) “Oh? Because a friend of mine thinks that men lie more but for more little things and women lie …” You get the idea. The conversation goes on.

Or – the cube game which is simple pseudo psychology test which uses symbolic meanings  (i.e. subconscious mind) to “profile the girl”. You ask her to imagine certain things and then she gives you details about these things. Using the details she is giving, you magically reads her traits. It’s pretty fun and fairly inaccurate game in my opinion. I mean most of the conclusions you can give are valid for 90% of the people out there if not even more.

Or this example – assigning roles to the girls in a group “Who is  the wealthiest of you? You? We’re setting the marriage for Monday! But…we need, who is the best cook here? Ok you’ll be our master chef!”.

A lot of gurus don’t like the routines – claim them as fake. I admit, I agree with them – routines may deliver one very strange feeling that gives “fakeness” to the other person. The problem with that is guys tend to learn those almost by heart. And then they shoot them whenever they enter a conversation, like a child told to recite something it leaned the other day. It’s like the person is there, but not there. A slight change in his style might be detected and this slight change isn’t feeling natural to the other person around.

This is one thing. Another is – if it all goes well and the conversation continues what happens when the guy runs out of prepared materials? Most likely drastic change of the dynamics and his style. This leaves very awkward feeling. Showing something and then delivering another different thing.

The word routine itself is something you do repeatedly, as a habit.

Washing your teeth every morning is routine. Putting your belt every time you get in the car is routine. That is ok. That is helpful. Saying same stuff when speaking to different people limits your mind. So do this cautiously.

Routines however have one very good purpose – they can override some inner issues the person is having at that moment. They can start conversation while otherwise it might be difficult for that person. They can keep the attention of someone that otherwise might be difficult for that person and so on. Actually the first I started I used ready materials myself. Using such can have benefits. And in some cases it can “save” a conversation that might be going nowhere.

My advice on this is – if you’re going to use ready routines and lines – pick such that you feel natural to you and your style. Don’t go with something you might never say or do (unless you want to stress yourself on purpose). Then try it in front of  the mirror several times. Is it ok for you? Does your style changes much, like a sales person trying to sell you something? If it feels natural – then you can apply it.

And please don’t get hooked up on it. I had a time where I used routines to my friends. I mean I was so caught in this thing. This wasn’t good, especially in my case it wasn’t my style at all.

Actually the best  thing is that if you’re going to use them at all – check out some, and then make some of your own. They will fit you, they’ll be part of you and they will feel natural to you. Believe me, the difference is noticeable.

If you’ve read this far – I got one very, very good honest approach for you. Next time you feel awkward, run out of conversation, or feel something isn’t right – just share it with the other person (don’t get overboard mushy-mushy emo style, not attractive). For example you go to talk to a girl but suddenly as you approach your mind goes  blank and you say: “Hey, I just came to talk to you but… I forgot what was I about to say.” and you smile and then introduce yourself. Like it’s the most natural thing that can happen (and it is since every person feels this way once in a while).

The other person typically will react positively. There might be occasions where she can try to stomp you “Oh, peace off!” and you feel a little disappointed, then say it “Oh, you looked a lot more friendly initially”.
This honest approach gives the following vibes of you:

  1. you are a person that is pretty comfortable with his feelings. A mature person that knows himself well. You have no problem opening yourself to total strangers;
  2. you are honest person and honesty is very attractive quality for other mature people. Yes, little pain in the butt girls will find you “weak”. But that’s not the point.

As a “side benefit” you’ll learn also to be comfortable with your emotions (again, not some mushy-washy wussy way). This is tough at the start, especially if you’re more introverted person (like me). But once you manage to get a hold of it – a lot of conversations will feel a lot more light and fluent to you. They’ll feel natural.

You won’t need the ready materials that much (or at all)

This inner strength you’ll begin developing will help your progress a lot more. Getting to much used to routines will get you stuck with the progress.

For me – expressing emotions became so much easier this way. A lot less holding of things that I otherwise suppressed in myself. For example I can say no without the fear of offending someone. Before I was too much concerned about offending someone or what he’ll think about me. In short – life became a lot more enjoyable and light.

And for finish let me quote for you David DeAngelo:
If you want a fake woman, them be a fake man. (Edit: David D knows that well, from experience perhaps)

This will be topic to another article. Think about it – a lot of wisdom in that one.